I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
My life needs editing.
Marriage is a wonderful institution but who would want to live in an...
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of...
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later...
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40 000 pieces. And when you finish it it...
All men are equal before fish.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you...
If you want to be thought a liar always tell the truth.
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
It's simple if it jiggles it's fat.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
The superfluous a very necessary thing.
When we talk to God we're praying. When God talks to us we're schizophrenic.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.